Hmmmm. What to say about Mommyhood!? Well, let’s state the obvious (ya know, what’s mostly heard). It’s very rewarding, fulfilling, joyous, fun, loving, and definitely a blessing. While I feel extremely blessed to be the mother of a precious 2 year old boy, I also feel emotions that no one talks about or willingly, openly admits. Why? I’m not sure. Maybe some moms feel like a bad mom for feeling these such emotions. Well let me tell you, you aren’t along and you’re not a bad mom! You’re normal.
Mommyhood is hard, stressful, and at times frustrating. When I was pregnant, I was so overwhelmed with Joy. I knew that I was bringing a child into this world and I felt very privileged. When my son was born, besides the pain from the C-Section, I was feeling very excited and joyous. The first few months were wonderful. Then I began to feel exhausted and drained. Emotionally, I was suffering. I was pouring all my love into this bundle of joy and feeling like I wasn’t getting anything back. I was ready for my new born to hug me, kiss me, or show some type of affection. Instead I got pooped on, peed on, cried on, spat up on, and woken up several times. I knew logically that my baby loved me, but didn’t know how to show it because he didn’t really know what love was. He was a newborn.
As he got older and able to show more of his personality, it was a little easier. I had so much fun with him. He was having fun playing, learning, and trying to talk! LOL. I love his babbles (and still do). Everyone was telling me, “wait until the terrible two’s roll around”. I was adamant about saying it was “Teachable Two’s”. And while they are very teachable, two-year-olds are very adamant about being independent.This is where we are today, me and my wonderful son, Jayden.
Jayden is a very smart little boy and very loving. But when he gets in his defiant mood, boy is he defiant (to say the least). Countless times, I’m telling (more like yelling) to “stop it”, “don’t touch”, “no”, and “SIT DOWN”! He just does the same things over and over. I don’t start off yelling. I don’t want to be that mom that loses it. I don’t want to have to yell to get my point across. I don’t want to feel like I’m out of control. And slowly I’m finding myself to be that mom.
I hate raising my voice at my son. I hate putting him in time-out. I hate popping his little hands. I hate being that mom. But I’m becoming that mom. Clearly, these methods aren’t working. The mom, that I’ve always dreamt about was calm, loving, understanding, and patient. While I am calm (at times), loving, and understanding, I’m losing my patience. The ONE thing that is vital for parenting. PATIENCE!
I know that he has to be redirected. So that’s what I’m trying to do. He likes to be active (the boy has energy for days). So I think I’ll take him to the park once a day or some outside activity. We don’t get out too much, but this will all change (the first available chance).
So there, you have a look inside my emotions. If you are feeling or have felt some of the emotions listed above….don’t panic. It’s normal. Kids will drive you CRAZY!! Even if you only have one! LOL It only takes one! HA!
Overall, being a mom is the best thing that has happened to me. I don’t regret it one bit! Of course Jayden will test his boundaries, but I love him with all of my heart and would do anything to make him happy (within reason). He is my precious little boy!
Now that’s the truth about mommyhood!